LIVEJOURNAL WHAT HI I EXIST.
Aug. 9th, 2012 08:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zolac_no_mikoSoooo there are things happening in my life, but as usual I have no time to talk about it. The next few days in a nutshell: job ending! Moving my life thirty miles! Officially applying for new job! Voting! Beach camping birthday party in Waipi‘o! Favorite person arriving! Sort of temporarily moving in with her! New job starting! And appointments and shopping and stuff.
Well that was fun, let's do a meme! Stolen from EVERYONE, EVERYWHERE.
Pick any passage of 500 words or fewer from any piece of fanfiction I’ve written, and comment to this post with that selection. I'll then give you the equivalent of a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what’s going on in the characters' heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the greater context of the story, and anything else that you’d expect from a commentary track.
For reference, complete collection of fanfiction I've written in the last four and a half years is here on my LiveJournal or here on my AO3.We don't need to talk about anything I've written before that.
Well that was fun, let's do a meme! Stolen from EVERYONE, EVERYWHERE.
Pick any passage of 500 words or fewer from any piece of fanfiction I’ve written, and comment to this post with that selection. I'll then give you the equivalent of a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what’s going on in the characters' heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the greater context of the story, and anything else that you’d expect from a commentary track.
For reference, complete collection of fanfiction I've written in the last four and a half years is here on my LiveJournal or here on my AO3.
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no subject
Date: 2012-08-11 10:11 am (UTC)As for the meme... Wah, that's so difficult! I think you would probably notice if I happened to (purely accidentally) quote the entire fic, so I'll just settle for this part from Pō Pouli ‘A‘aki (A Night So Dark It Bites With the Teeth) :
Then he stood, and he ran. Steve flew down the face of the cliff, a thousand-foot ramp of gleaming pāhoehoe. He slipped a few times and fell, rolling to his feet and racing on, heedless of blood and bruises. The burning in his lungs didn't matter. Only Danny mattered, and Olokui.
Steve reached the coastal flats. The sun had disappeared behind Mauna Loa; the lava plain was bathed in twilight. Olokui was visible in the distance, standing still, gazing at the flow of new lava that stretched between him and Kalapana. Steve gritted his teeth. He ran.
He ate up the yards in long strides. Olokui was almost within shouting distance. There was a rustling, a dark shape in the corner of Steve's eye, and he ducked instinctively. Claws raked across the top of his head as an ‘alalā swooped past him; wheeling in the sky, the raven made a beeline for Olokui, croaking hoarsely. Olokui turned, saw Steve pounding toward him across the lava. He dropped his pack, grabbed his rifle, and ran.
“ELIKA OLOKUI!” Steve bellowed, pelting after him. “FIVE-OH! STAY WHERE YOU ARE!” Olokui didn't stop. Steve drew his weapon. He was gaining on him, slowly.
They neared the new flow. Pāhoehoe stretched across the plain, the lava’s solid crust gleaming silver, but glowing red in the cracks and creases and oozing sluggishly at the edges of the flow, toes of glassy molten rock slowly expanding the flow’s boundaries. The air grew hot and pungent. Fires raged where the lava encroached on clumps of vegetation, incinerating shrubs and palms. The bass booms of methane explosions echoed menacingly.
Olokui reached the flow and did not stop, sprinting across its silvered surface. Steve clenched his jaw, put his head down, and followed.
The air was oven-hot. The surface was solid, but Steve's boots felt tacky as he ran; he could smell the rubber soles melting, burning. He shielded his face from the heat with one arm, wondering how long he had before his boots burned through. Running across the lava was stupid, suicidal. He needed to end this quickly. “Olokui!” he yelled, and fired a warning shot. Olokui didn't stop.
Olokui ran into a small kīpuka encircled by the new flow. Steve followed; fire blazed in the shrubbery all around them. A methane explosion boomed in the distance. “Olokui! This is your last chance!”
Olokui spun, bringing his rifle to bear. Steve skidded to a stop, taking aim with his pistol. “Stand down, Olokui, drop your weapon!”
I love that finale so much. :)
no subject
Date: 2012-08-27 09:29 am (UTC)Haha yeah I'm definitely not doing DVD commentary for the whole fic, that would take WAY TOO LONG.)
This scene... ahaha yeeesss~. This seems to be a popular scene among readers, and I'm glad, because I love it more than a little. The basic outline for this scene has existed since very early on in the brainstorming process, when I was trying to turn my very long list of Cool Hawai‘i Stuff I Want In My Fic into, like, an actual plot. I think probably this scene came into being as a natural consequence of the Pele scene. I knew very very early on that I wanted them to meet Pele, and the trope of Pele being kind/generous/merciful to those who deserve it is very common in the mythology, so the idea that Pele would assist in foiling Olokui was not an unlikely place for my brain to go. I don't remember exactly how I got there, just sort of letting my mind mull over story construction/plot problems (for instance, I knew I needed Olokui to die; our legal system just really would not be effective against a dark sorcerer) and out of nowhere thinking, "Ohmigod how awesome would it be if Pele helped them? Like, cut off Olokui's route with a lava flow? OH GOD AND THEN THERE COULD BE A BADASS LAVA CHASE SCENE YEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSS."
See one of the things I adore about H50 is the ridiculous over-the-top action sequences, all the car chases and flying tackles and wanton property destruction and crazy stunts. Show is FREAKING RIDICULOUS so throwing that kind of thing into the fic just seems right, you know?
Plus I have this thing about lava and how it is perceived by most of the world and how it is portrayed in media. And the thing is EVERYONE GETS IT WRONG. I mean, it's not their fault, really (except for the media thing, that's just poor research/laziness), the average person has not grown up in the vicinity of an extremely active but relatively friendly shield volcano, they haven't been down to see the lava spread across the coastal flats and pour into the ocean more times than they can count like I have, but. It is a Thing with me, it's a pet-peeve, it makes me twitch, so. Was I going to pass up an opportunity to write an action scene involving lava that was simultaneously ridiculously over the top and scientifically accurate? HECK NO.
So that's the thing about this scene; as ridiculous as it is, these are things that I know from personal experience. I've been there when the methane explosions have been going off, I know what causes them and what they can do. I know how solid lava is at what temperatures and how it feels to be near it, from years of personal experience running up to it and kicking it with my boot. I know that lava can be solid and cool on the surface and still red-hot and molten underneath, having personally walked over some. I've not crossed any lava hot enough to melt boot soles, but I know people who have. I've been there with lava creeping through the brush and everything going up in flames, so... take it from me, I've given you an authentic and realistic Hawaiian lava experience, described in as much accurate detail as I am able to provide.
Plus Steve and guns and yelling and mortal peril and machismo and everything you'd want from an excellent H50 chase scene. ^_^
no subject
Date: 2012-08-27 09:29 am (UTC)This is one of the scenes that needed a fair amount of editing, though. Mostly added detail for clarity and realism.
...I kind of love Steve in this scene. He's really in his element here, just sheer physical excellence and the single-minded focus of a laser, fearlessness to the point of reckless stupidity. Shouting at Olokui to stop with the full weight of the assurance of his authority, knowing he isn't really going to stop and yet sort of expecting him to. Confident and authoritative and expecting to be obeyed even with Olokui's rifle pointed at his face. Just. STEVE. HOW DO I ADORE THEE. LET ME COUNT THE WAYS. ♥_♥
I don't really have a lot to say about Olokui's thoughts and feelings in this scene, just, "OH SHIT!" and "Fuck, SERIOUSLY?!" and "OH MY GOD HE'S NOT STOPPING" and "SHIT SHIT SHIT!" And then a lot of smugness and sneering later.
The last thing I have to say about this scene is this: the coastal lava plain formed by Kilauea's recent rift eruptions is an area I visit fairly frequently, working for the Park Service or just sightseeing. I was just down there a week ago with
So there you have it. ^_^
no subject
Date: 2012-09-12 08:37 pm (UTC)OMG, now you're made me love this scene even more! I didn't really think that's possible, but it obviously is. *g* Having never been anywhere near lava in my life I love the realism in this scene - you make me feel like being there. And of course I LOVE Steve and all the action!
See one of the things I adore about H50 is the ridiculous over-the-top action sequences, all the car chases and flying tackles and wanton property destruction and crazy stunts.
I agree so much!!! That's one of the many things I adore about the show, too. *grabs show and hugs it*
LOL, now that you've mingled your RL with the show by writing this story, there's no escape anymore! :D I think that's really a good thing, though. I so much want to see a lava action scene in the show!!! (Couldn't they hire you as a script writer? Me wants! :D)