Obey Zolac!

I JUST.

I know you have no idea what I'm on about nor do you care, but I just need a place to preserve things for posterity, and plurk is not great for that.

So, for some context: my Steve and his traveling companions, Beckett and Rydia, a.k.a Team Too Dumb To Live, made themselves horrendously ill burning furniture in one of the houses. This is apparently due to some sort of noxious death mold, but they didn't know that at the time, their first thought was THE FURNITURE IS POISON BECAUSE NORFINBURY IS A SADISTIC HELLHOLE (reasonable assumption). ...And when I say tremendously ill, I mean coughing, dizziness, nausea, and coughing up black goo for a solid week.

So, on the one hand, Team Too Dumb To Live. On the other hand, Dr. Clayton Epps, professional worry-wort, earnestly trying to keep his fellow prisoners healthy and safe. And the situation they're all currently in, which just gets funnier and funnier the more I think about it.

So. Steve, Beckett, and Rydia make themselves horribly ill burning furniture.

Clayton: "Stay here and rest, I'll go get food!"

Beckett: *Clayton doesn't even know he's sick, Beckett is actively hiding from him in another house because he was just horribly sick a few days ago and he's embarrassed*

Steve, Beckett, and Rydia: *NOT RESTING, go for a hike in a blizzard and BURN MORE FURNITURE, for science! (Steve is the ringleader)*

Beckett: *goes back to hiding, soon will have nothing to eat but herbal tea*

Rydia: *gets lost in the blizzard and ends up a full day's travel in the wrong direction in the funeral home, handcuffed to a toilet and made to endure a night of horrors while trying to chew her hand off*

Clayton:

I just. I'm so sorry, Clayton. So sorry. XD

Also, we had an extensive plurk conversation about pee. A highlight: at least one of the characters is peeing into a bottle and using it as a hot water bottle to keep warm.

...I cannot tell you how much I love this game and these players. ♥_♥

In other news, have a barrel organ playing Smooth Criminal.

So drownedcities directed me to this: I Am the Doctor dubstep remix. IT IS SO AWESOME YOU GUYS. I CAN'T STOP LISTENING TO IT. ALL DAY LISTENING TO IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

Also I'm fairly sure that this track proves conclusively that the TARDIS invented dubstep. AWH YEAH DJ TARDIS, DROPPING MAD BEATS ALL ACROSS THE KNOWN UNIVERSE.

Okay, so, there's this AMAZING website called Myths RETOLD (bettermyths.com) where this dude Ovid retells all our favorite myths in Bro-speak, and it is FUCKING HILARIOUS. If you are not already aware of the fabulousness that is this site, get ye over there right away. It's got everything you could possibly want and more: Greek myths, Norse myths, Hindu myths, African myths, Arabian myths, EVERYTHING. Including more contemporary mythology, certain films and novels and so forth that fall into a mythical format. Also, American superheroes.

...You know I can't actually resist that, right? So I will share with you the origin stories of Superman, Batman, and Spiderman, as told by Ovid. Read them, BUST A GUT LAUGHING, and go check out the other myths, you will not regret this, I promise.

"What if Superman was a Nazi"

"Batman is Gifted at Crimefighting, Not so Great at Names"

"Spiderman: Like Batman, but for Spiders"

YOU'RE WELCOME.

So a bunch of stuff happened in the last couple weeks. Had fun going to the Kamehameha Day Festival and seeing Prometheus. ...The movie was awesome, by the way... definitely very Ridley Scott, if you like Ridley Scott. Creepy Android!Michael Fassbender was, as I fully expected, my favorite. ...Now I feel like I need to marathon the Alien movies. (Tried to watch Blade Runner the other night... BORED ME TO TEARS.)

The last couple of weeks have been pretty nice at work... exploring Kahuku, mist-netting at ‘Ainahou... I like ‘Ainahou, I mean, it's pretty weedy and there's lower bird diversity and I'm pretty biased towards the rainforest (‘Ainahou's a lot drier than Nauhi), but... it's just a really nice place to hang out. It's sunny and warm and the birds come in at just the right pace... and I'm lounging in the grass under a blue sky, writing, and getting up occasionally to go for a walk under the trees and check nets, and play with birds for a few minutes before going back to lounging and writing and just... how awesome is my life?? Other people work in cubicles. (I told my mom this and she pointed out that other people get paid more than $20 a day. THANKS MOM. ...It's still the best job ever, so there. XP)

And then Friday before last Jackie and I were going to go to Na‘alehu to meet with her friend John from The Nature Conservancy and pore over maps and get his opinions on the best ways to access remote parts of the Ka‘u Forest Reserve, but he absolutely had to go into the field that day... so we went with him! We met up with him and this-younger-guy-whose-name-I-forget in Pahala and drove up to TNC's Kaiholena Preserve, which was AWESOME because I've never ever been up there before. It's way up in the Ninole Hills, which is this really awesome and interesting and (I think) kinda creepy area in Ka‘u, where a massive fault-slip and subsequent erosion created these hills that look completely out of place with the rest of the island's geology (most hills in Hawai‘i are cinder cones), and they're all green and mysterious with their heads in the clouds and I've always wanted to go up there. And the forest in Kaiholena is beautiful, really pristine and full of all my favorite plants, and we took a nice walk along the fence line marking out where the helicopter needed to drop fence-repair materials and I had a lot of trouble keeping up because I kept stopping to geek out at the botany. ^_^;; And we had lunch TNC's little pavilion at the bottom of the preserve with a gorgeous view down to the coast, and on the way down we took a side trip to one of the hills to see this plant called nuku ‘i‘iwi (‘i‘iwi bill) because I'd never seen it/heard of it before and Jackie thought I'd enjoy it, which is... really kind of sweet, actually. It's this really cool vine with beautiful flowers that, yes, do resemble ‘i‘iwi bills in color and shape, and as;hgkalhskfakjshdfls NEW PLANT. *geeks out some more* And all of the lower hills had, mixed in with the native plants, ti and kukui and one of the old Hawaiian varieties of bananas, the name of which I forget, but John told me it was one of the few varieties that women were allowed to eat, and also that it was one of the varieties of bananas that the Hawaiians brought with them in their very first voyage, which makes sense because we're so close to that very first settlement down there. Looking at those ti and kukui and bananas that were probably descendants of plants planted around the very oldest Hawaiian settlements gave me a kind of chicken-skin feeling. ...Anyway, IT WAS A COOL TRIP and it made me very happy. Fuck $20 a day, I CAN'T BELIEVE I GET PAID FOR THIS AT ALL.

On Saturdays I've been doing a bunch of chores for Mom, since her arm's in a cast and she can't do a lot. Father's Day Dad came up to Volcano, and we had a really excellent afternoon: lunch at Lava Rock Cafe, wine tasting at the Volcano Winery, a trip to Jaggar to watch the steam come out of Halema‘uma‘u, and a trip down to ‘Ainahou so I could show him my work site and the historic ranch buildings.

Last week has been more netting at ‘Ainahou mostly, although Thursday and Friday I was on-loan to Mark Kupono trying to catch ‘i‘iwi up Mauna Loa Strip Road. No ‘i‘iwi in the net, just ‘amakihi and ‘apapane and white-eyes, but one of the ‘apapane was this really pretty hatch year bird that was in between fledgling and adult plumage... mostly red with gray and tawny bits and a red racing stripe on the back of its head. SO CUTE. And it was just a really nice day up there, lounging on the rocks and reading. ...Boss Jackie is taking off for Bali for three weeks, so I expect to be doing a lot more of this, along with fun things like data entry and organizing the supply closet. :P

Another major thing is I moved into my boss Dennis' house Thursday before last. He and his family are on vacation for over a month, traveling on the Mainland and in Italy, and I'm house-sitting for them. (Thus the adventure with the can opener the other day.) It's... a bit of an adjustment for me, because they have two dogs and three cats and two bunnies and two turtles and some fish, and it's weird having dependents. And the dogs need to be walked every day, and they have to be walked really early in the morning when no one else is on the street because they get aggressive with other dogs and strange people, so this means I wake up at 6:00 even on the weekends, which is just... not like me at all, heh. But all of the animals are super sweet. It's pretty nice for my ego to come home and EVERYONE IS SO HAPPY TO SEE ME OMG. So I'm really enjoying it, even if there's dog hair EVERYWHERE and Belle is needy and loud and psychotic and has WAY TOO MUCH ENERGY and Splotch has a marked tendency to wake me up at 2:30 in the morning MEOWING LOUDLY FOR NO REASON AT ALL. Can't get too upset with them, THEY'RE ALL SO CUTE.

( Oh and also I PIMPED MY RIDE. )

HIS NAME IS OLIVER!

If you are a Top Gear fan, I don't need to explain myself. For the rest of you, this is my car's namesake:



That's the original Oliver, a tiny adorable 1963 Opel Kadett A, pictured with his human, tiny adorable Richard Hammond. Why do I want to name my car Oliver?

-Oliver is the happiest car in the world.

-Richard bought this car used, in Africa, for less than 1,500 pounds, and drove it across Botswana, a distance of 1,000 miles. This journey included the crossing of the Makgadikgadi Pan, a massive salt pan larger than Switzerland, the surface of which is a thin crust over a gooey mud-like substance. Jeremy and James had to completely rip apart their cars until they were light enough to struggle across. Richard refused to harm his beloved Oliver; luckily Oliver was light enough to skip across the salt pans without any trouble anyway.

-When James and Jezzers' cars were struggling and breaking down and requiring repairs and modifications, Oliver blithely soldiered on, refusing to stop, even when this happened:



-When I am a famous celebrity and come on the show to be the Star in the Reasonably Priced Car, this will make an awesome story in my interview.

-ALL ADDERS ARE PUFFS.

In sum: tiny, adorable, happiest car in the world, never stops running even after being dragged over 1,000 miles of African wilderness, drowned, and shot, THESE ARE QUALITIES I WANT FOR MY VEHICLE.

*brb ordering Stig bumper sticker and African puff adder keychain*

Kind of late to the party, I know, but for what it's worth....

( IT'S NEVER TOO EARLY TO START CAPITALIZING. )

...SO WHEN DO WE GET TO HAVE THE SEQUEL?!

Can I also mention, the previews: new trailers for The Dark Knight Rises, Prometheus, and Brave, all movies I am SUPER FUCKING EXCITED ABOUT, and also The Amazing Spider-Man, which I am... tentatively excited about? They're doing a really unusual and interesting interpretation of the canon with this one... but I have to say, the scene where the guy pulls a knife on Spidey, AA;SLHGKALSFAKJSKAHFJSFLS REASON ENOUGH TO SEE THE MOVIE, THAT RIGHT THERE IS THE SPIDEY I KNOW AND LOVE. ♥

Walp, it's a good thing I'd actually made solid plans to absolutely nothing but lie around and stare at the television all weekend, because I have come down with The Plague and that's really all I feel like doing. :P

regonym came up with a really good idea, I think. If you're really really bored and think that joining me and my eternal bro Eric for part of an Avatar: The Last Airbender marathon sounds like fun, poke at me via LJ, text, email, smoke signals, or however it is you usually contact me, and I'll sign onto AIM, iChat, Gchat, or Skype, and you can join us long distance! Marathon starts tonight and goes until ??? o'clock Sunday, so assuming you manage to avoid our sleep breaks you should have plenty of opportunity. COME JOIN US YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO IT'LL BE FUN. :DD

So, how excited are we about Legend of Korra? Please estimate to the closest power of 'fucking very'. Just watched the free pre-release on iTunes today. THE ART. SO VERY GUH. And Pro Bending? Yeah. Coolest sport I will never be able to play since Quidditch. I do expect, however, to be continually distracted by Evil!Spike Spiegel, omg.

So anyway, HAPPY ANGELA'S BIRTHDAY WEEKEND Y'ALL~! And also that Easter thing. Both of these things are actually kind of getting sidelined for me this weekend, in favor of Marcus and Baerbl's 10th anniversary Hilo swing workshop. I plan to spend my birthday in Balboa classes. And then packing for the field.

But next weekend, when I actually have time for this birthday nonsense... Avatar: The Last Airbender marathon, aww yiss~. It will be a MASSIVE PARTY with me and my friend Eric... and maybe even other people, if we can find anyone else interested in Avatar. This island is definitely suffering a nerd vacuum, it's very sad. ...You're all invited, btw. IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO BUY AN AIRPLANE TICKET AND COME JOIN US.

Or you can help me construct my Avatar 'Take A Shot When' Drinking Game. So far I have:
-Sokka uses sarcasm
-Sokka food gag
-Aang attempts to get it with Katara
-Aang goes into Avatar state
-Zuko throws a tantrum
-Iroh food gag
-Iroh does something unspeakably badass
-Sokka does something unspeakably badass
-Cabbage Guy
-Foaming-at-the-Mouth Guy
-Another Avatar
-Singing
-Soonghi horn
-Blind jokes
-Iroh says 'tea'
-White lotus
-Specialty bending (lightning, metal, plant, blood)
-Aang dons ridiculous disguise
-Katara acquires boyfriend
-Sokka acquires girlfriend

What else needs to be on the list?! HELP ME OUT HERE GUYS.

-Oh my god you guys, I love the people I live with. Thursday night was sushi night and everyone from the RM house and the other USGS house came over and we had a massive pile of sushi and miso soup and tofu-mushroom wontons and this beautiful monstrosity Brent invented that he called "redneck sushi", which involved bacon wrapped around cornbread wrapped around smoked pork, onions, and barbecue sauce (OH MY GOD YOU GUYS). And we were all hanging out in our kitchen drinking beers, seven people from all over the U.S. and Canada (the Italian went home early with the Californian), and someone– not me– referenced The Mighty Boosh, and everyone understood the reference. And then proceeded to make more. ...COOLEST GROUP OF PEOPLE EVER. Also I watch Supernatural and Top Gear with Sean, and he lurks around with vague, amused interest when I watch The Vampire Diaries. (Btw look_alive, Meredith Fell, lololol.)

-Last night was hella stormy. Woke up at 2:30 in the morning to booms of thunder that shook the house, generated by lightning a mile or less away. This continued for a few hours... I sort of drifted in and out of sleep. I'm sure there's new snow on the mountains. Again. (I think I failed to mention that the storm that hit us in Kapa‘a dumped HELLA SNOW on the peaks. I have pictures. Which I will maybe someday show you.)

-Boomer, my Droid phone, succumbed to her Cylon sleeper programming and went BATSHIT INSANE yesterday morning... ignoring my commands and scrolling and punching buttons with random and gleeful abandon. So I drove her down into Hilo today and took her to the Verizon store... dude said original Droids are starting to reach the point of obsolescence and that Boomer would probably continue to be glitchy, so I cashed in on my upgrade and got a Droid 4. She's shiny and beautiful and smart and her name is Athena. (Number 8 Cylons are the best Cylons. Ilu Grace Park. ♥)

...So yeah, I'm hanging at my Dad's house stealing internet. I'mma head up to Mom's for a bit and pick up my shiny new REI gear and some other stuff, buy some gas, buy some mochi and plum wine for Girls' Day (and a Happy Girls' Day to you all~ xoxo), and have some dinner with Dad and Bev before heading back up the hill. I'mma maybe try to wrangle some of the other interns into driving to southern Ka‘u or South Kona tomorrow to try and find some sunny weather and a beach, because it has been hella damp for way too long. And then Monday it's back out into the field.

Fieldwork's been going well... aside from issues with the weather, and that GIANT KOA TREE that fell and blocked the road and forced us to find an alternate way out, and the power steering breaking down in the pickup truck, and other suchlike shenanigans. But the cabin is dry and the pit toilet doesn't smell too bad and there are only a few spiders, really, and we've been catching cute birds and I'm getting more proficient at handling them, and we put up more poles so we should catch more birds next week, and maybe we'll catch one of those Hawai‘i Creepers that's been taunting us, and hopefully we won't catch that hawk. (IT'S HAPPENED BEFORE.)

I really do need to find time to do a picspam. I have discovered that I can catch wireless if I sit outside my house, but it's been so rainy that that's not often a feasible solution. And of course I live in the woods half the week, so I have very limited exposure to even that limited amount of civilization. But it's high up on my to-do list, I swear. It's just. THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS. T_T

Here, I'll leave you with the latest Avengers trailer. It's a little like sex. (Just, you know, click the thing that says "Watch Trailer".)

LOVE YOU ALL. ♥

More conjecture based on Sherlock 2.03; spoilers for that episode.

( Watched 'The Reichenbach Fall' with my mother just now and.... )