Obey Zolac!

Okay, so, there's this AMAZING website called Myths RETOLD (bettermyths.com) where this dude Ovid retells all our favorite myths in Bro-speak, and it is FUCKING HILARIOUS. If you are not already aware of the fabulousness that is this site, get ye over there right away. It's got everything you could possibly want and more: Greek myths, Norse myths, Hindu myths, African myths, Arabian myths, EVERYTHING. Including more contemporary mythology, certain films and novels and so forth that fall into a mythical format. Also, American superheroes.

...You know I can't actually resist that, right? So I will share with you the origin stories of Superman, Batman, and Spiderman, as told by Ovid. Read them, BUST A GUT LAUGHING, and go check out the other myths, you will not regret this, I promise.

"What if Superman was a Nazi"

"Batman is Gifted at Crimefighting, Not so Great at Names"

"Spiderman: Like Batman, but for Spiders"

YOU'RE WELCOME.

So I took a break from thinking about the symptoms associated with exposure to different concentrations of carbon dioxide. "Manta Rays" by Ludo was playing on my iPod, and I tried to think up a story that would go with it. Then I started thinking about Aquaman instead, and hey, I wonder if they'll make an Aquaman movie, seeing as they did one for Green Lantern. Ooh, or a Flash movie, that's what I wanna see WHOA WHOA WAIT A GOD DAMN MINUTE!

...Where the hell is our Wonder Woman movie?!

I'm wracking my brain to think of any movies at all featuring our lady superheroes, and the best I can come up with is... didn't Elektra have a movie?... and... Catwoman...? And that's using the term superhero veeerrry loosely. ...I feel like that shit don't even count.

Diana deserves her own movie. Wonder Woman has, by far, the biggest name recognition of any lady superhero ever; I mean, she's almost on-par with Batman, Superman, and Spiderman. She's certainly more famous than Green Lantern. And she's just so gods-damned fabulous, a strong, powerful feminist icon who is sexy without being trashy. So where's her movie?! FEMINIST RAAAAGE!!

...But do not despair, my friends in geekdom! I did some research and there is a Wonder Woman film in development! :DDDDDD It's had some fits and starts, but it looks like it might be closer to being a reality than the Aquaman, Flash, and Justice League films that are also in the works. (I have no idea how it measures up to the Nolan Superman project; I'm working off of gossip here.) We came this close to having Joss Whedon as a scriptwriter, which would've been AWESOME... but word is it's in the hands of David S. Goyer now, so I guess I can't complain (he was the writer for Nolan's Batman movies).

So... yay? DO WANT.

...And that has been your nerd report for the day. ^_^