Obey Zolac!

HIS NAME IS OLIVER!

If you are a Top Gear fan, I don't need to explain myself. For the rest of you, this is my car's namesake:



That's the original Oliver, a tiny adorable 1963 Opel Kadett A, pictured with his human, tiny adorable Richard Hammond. Why do I want to name my car Oliver?

-Oliver is the happiest car in the world.

-Richard bought this car used, in Africa, for less than 1,500 pounds, and drove it across Botswana, a distance of 1,000 miles. This journey included the crossing of the Makgadikgadi Pan, a massive salt pan larger than Switzerland, the surface of which is a thin crust over a gooey mud-like substance. Jeremy and James had to completely rip apart their cars until they were light enough to struggle across. Richard refused to harm his beloved Oliver; luckily Oliver was light enough to skip across the salt pans without any trouble anyway.

-When James and Jezzers' cars were struggling and breaking down and requiring repairs and modifications, Oliver blithely soldiered on, refusing to stop, even when this happened:



-When I am a famous celebrity and come on the show to be the Star in the Reasonably Priced Car, this will make an awesome story in my interview.

-ALL ADDERS ARE PUFFS.

In sum: tiny, adorable, happiest car in the world, never stops running even after being dragged over 1,000 miles of African wilderness, drowned, and shot, THESE ARE QUALITIES I WANT FOR MY VEHICLE.

*brb ordering Stig bumper sticker and African puff adder keychain*

So, I'm in Hilo. It's very nice here. Warm. Full of tropical fruits. I've got things to post, but I'm exhausted, so that'll probably happen tomorrow. Probably with pictures. I just needed to say....

Oh. My. God. ...So I'm near an actual television set that's actually on that's actually tuned in to an actual television channel for once (I can count the number of times that's happened this month on one hand, I think), and GUESS WHAT'S ON?

The world premiere of Top Gear, America-edition.

It started with my Dad coming in and being like, "Angela, you will not believe this, they've got a Dodge Viper racing a Cobra attack helicopter on the History Channel." (For you non-Americans, the History Channel, which once showed historical programs, now shows things like Ice Road Truckers and The Most Dangerous Catch.) And I was like, "Huh, sounds like Top Gear." And we were watching it, and I was busily explaining to my father what Top Gear was and why it was awesome... and then it WAS Top Gear.

I spent half the show being snooty and doubtful (American Top Gear, ffffff), but I think I've decided I'm fairly pleased with it. They've faithfully reproduced the look of the studio and the schnazzy editing style and the silly car shenanigans, and the guys are fun and knowledgeable and talkative and competitive. They have a "Big Star, Small Car" section... their Small/Reasonably Priced Car is a Suzuki, and their first star driver was BUZZ ALDRIN, HOLY SHIT.

And they even have The Stig... or I guess it's a Stig. Their judgmental Stig banner is actually a video screen, on which he occasionally crosses and recrosses his arms while judging you. They don't introduce him with weird jokes, but I think the Americans wouldn't get what was going on anyway. And American Stig doesn't listen to anything while he drives. Sad day.

I can't help thinking things like, "THE BRITISH TRACK IS PROBABLY WAY MORE HARDCORE" and "I BET ORIGINAL STIG CAN BEAT THE PANTS OFF AMERICAN STIG"... but on the whole, it looks like a fun time. And maybe they'll even acquire quirky personalities and in-jokes and ridiculousness, which is what makes the original so fun.

Next episode is drift-racing. With the legally blind.

I've got the Whitman Taekwon-do Team (+ head of security) asleep on my floor. It's not my bedtime yet so I'm watching Top Gear with my earbuds in.

Apocalyptic dingleberry is pretty much the best insult I have ever heard.

That is all.

Quick LJ update, since I've been missing for a little bit. Let's make an itemized list again, those are fun.

1. Lauren and I greatly enjoyed hanging with Melissa and her Dad in Corvallis. We watched all of the RT shorts. It was fun. The falconry meet was also fun, if a bit fail. Tiny children thought Penny was cute, which was observant of them. We followed the longwingers in an attempt to see a successful duck hunt. ...Attempt, I said. The winter meet is supposed to be the duck hunters' meet, but as Randy said, there was a lot of trying, no dying. The weather was gorgeous, which meant the ducks weren't sitting on the ponds... we spent half the day just trying to find them. When we finally did, bird was doing a good flight, but just as flushed the ducks, a FUCKING BALD EAGLE CAME OUT OF NOWHERE and tried to eat the bird. (Becca, I blame you.) Next pond full of ducks, excellent flight, nice stoop... but out of all the lovely ducks on the pond, bird wanted the FUCKING CANADA GOOSE. Damn near got it, too, but not quite. All of the other birds were completely fail, except for the last flight, which knocked some feathers of a duck, but didn't quite manage to kill it. A pheasant and a pigeon died in completely unsatisfying ways, and that was it. *sigh*

2. The reason I haven't been on LJ is Aphelion started up. YAAAAAAAY!! It's been gobs of fun so far. Starting roster: Robin (Teen Titans), Church (Red vs. Blue), Tex (Red vs. Blue), Edmond Dantes (The Count of Monte Cristo), Sam Carter (Stargate), James May (Top Gear), and Richard Hammond (Top Gear). Poor Becca's being eaten by her thesis etc. and had to immediately put Sweets (Bones) on hiatus (;_;) but when she comes back it will be AMAZING. And Lauren's bringing in Shadow (Sonic the Hedgehog) this weekend, and Carrie's got the Master (Doctor Who) on reserve, and the addition of these two will only increase the awesomosity. :DDDD

3. After playing phone tag with Dan for a week and a half, I succeeded in speaking to him. He was born in Hawaii, was a kid in So Cal, and has lived in Portland since he was 10. He has a cat named Lincoln who he found as a kitten on the side of the road and rescued from certain death. He loves music, likes to sing, enjoys karaoke, and just joined a band as a singer. He likes dancing, and Dante's. He currently makes money playing poker. ...We have vague plans to meet up sometime.

4. Having James May and Richard Hammond in Aphelion finally got me watching Top Gear, which I've been meaning to do for months and months. AND NOW I CAN'T STOP. I seriously love this show guys. T_T

5. The Saints made it to the Super Bowl. HELLS YEAH can I pick a winner! GEAUX SAINTS GEAUX!!

That is all, carry on. *goes back to watching Top Gear, the BEST SHOW EVER*